I have an old Friend.   Friends since the eighth grade.  Who would have guessed, we were so different.  But in our differences we found our “same-ness”.  We had our own language, our own words.  We talked on the phone all night or until one of our Mothers caught us.  We both almost flunked Typing our Senior year because we didn’t do the assignments…we typed notes to each other.  We put thousands of miles on our parent’s cars just driving around.  We were nerds.  I think we probably still are.  We don’t talk on the phone all night anymore.  Our lives changed many years ago.  But, when we see each other…it’s just like old times.  We are old friends. Happy Birthday Old Friend!

What do you do about a cheating husband?  (No matter if you were single….you still needed to know what to do)

What about the neighbor that lets his dog poop on your lawn? (Put the poop in a paper bag, put it on the owner’s porch)

What do you say to the nosy lady who listens to your phone calls on the party line?  (If you don’t know what a party line is, then you probably don’t know who Dear Abby is)

What can I do about my Husband’s Uncle George that gets drunk at every family get together and grabs your ass?  (Put water in the vodka bottle at the next party)

And so on, and so on.  We learned everything we needed to know from Dear Abby.

R.I.P.

I have a wonderful little cat named Bootsie.  She is a black and white Tuxedo cat.  They are called Tuxedo cats because it looks like they are wearing a tiny tuxedo…cute?  I call my cat “Bootsie” because it look like she has on tiny little boots…cute?

She fetches, which I understand a lot of cats do.  So funny.

Not only does she fetch, she hunts.  At night, as soon as the lights go out.

First I hear her running up and down the stairs and tearing through the house.  Then she lets out a scary howling sound that reminds you of a cat in heat…no… a scary Halloween possessed cat in heat.  Kinda like this…but louder and not so friendly like.

She then brings me all her hunting treasures on puts them all over my bed. Twist ties, milk carton rings, fuzzy little cat toys, and ping pong balls.  Then she sleeps on my head.

I love my cat Bootsie.  My dog Tootsie just wants to play with her…or kill her.  I’m not sure.

Too funny not to include on a post about cats!  Enjoy!

No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap.  ~Carrie Snow

If a man had as many ideas during the day as he does when he has insomnia, he’d make a fortune.  ~Griff Niblack

Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds.  ~JoJo Jensen, Dirt Farmer Wisdom, 2002

When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep, and you’re never really awake.  ~From the movie Fight Club, based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk

Our Family has a secret.  It’s a pretty big secret.  But I think it is time to tell.

You see, our Mother is Mrs. Santa Claus.  The real deal.

In the late 1960′s my Mom, dressed as Mrs. S.C, would go to the homes of her friends, the Ladies in her Womens’ Club, and hand out parent provided gifts.  It was very exciting for me because I was allowed to go a few times.  My SIS would drive and I would sit in the back seat in charge of the gifts.  As time went on  I was able to drive her around town, and eventually we took my kids for the excitement also.

At first , she had a simple red cape and a Santa hat, but as years went by her costume got fancier and fancier.  The current suit is  a red corduroy cape trimmed with fluffy white fleece.  Her floor length skirt was trimmed with fleece all around the bottom, with her little black boots sticking out.  White gloves and a perfect Santa hat on her head rounded out the look.

She loved children.  She had five of her own, and was a school librarian at the local School District.   She appeared at village functions, my kid’s preschool, and random houses of the children who saw her a child.  They had their own children and they wanted their kids to see Mrs. Santa Claus.

My Mother changed into another person when she put on the costume.  Her cheeks got rosy, she walked differently and she seemed to stand taller than her five feet.  Her smile was huge, her eyes twinkled and when she put on her hat….she was the real Mrs. Santa Claus. Her jingle bells announced her arrival to all that were waiting for her.  She just loved doing it.

When I first became sick in 2001, I missed a lot of things including the fun of Christmas, but I dragged myself downstairs one particular Christmas Day  because of my family’s pleas. Everybody opened all their gifts and oohed and ahhed.  Finally, I was given a big box and told to open it.  I tore off the paper and pulled all the tissue paper out of the box.  Inside was something I had been asking for years.

A professional portrait of Mrs. Santa Claus

We lost our Mrs. Santa in October 2010.  While clearing out her condo, we found the Mrs. Santa suit.  My SIS and I just sat there holding it.  It is packed away in a special box now.

This suit will become a family heirloom.

Smile Mrs Santa, I will be listening for your bells on Christmas Day.

**I’m sitting here drinking my coffee and I can hear Santa Claus in the distance getting nearer and nearer.  Today is the annual “Santa on the Fire truck Day” in town.  Oh, I can remember how Bill and Dan would wait for the small parade to get to our street, and as they got closer the sirens would get louder and louder.  Their excitement was contagious and I stood in the window with them waiting and waiting……until there he was!  On top of the fire truck with a few elves that were handing out candy canes to those who were lucky to get outside fast enough.  So, now I sit here on the couch by myself waiting for Santa to get to our street.  But my excitement and anticipation is not about seeing Santa on top of the fire truck.  Nope!  Those little boys are not standing near the street waiting for their candy canes anymore.  But, one of those little boys is driving the big red fire truck taking Santa around town.  Nothing is cooler than seeing your little boy grow up and drive that big red firetruck…..how awesome!  And how awesome for my son!

We rarely see each other, she lives about an hours drive away, but I always knew she was nearby.  I knew if I needed her she would be there as quickly as humanly possible. 

When my Mom passed away she brought enough food to feed an army…and stayed with me the whole evening.  She told me when to eat, she told me when to sit and rest…she took care of me. 

We met in the early 70′s, and lived in the same apartment building for years.  She was a single Mom, we had completely different lifestyles, but we were close and always there for each other.  Twenty five years ago, give or take, she was in a serious car wreck.  She almost died.  Well, she really did die, but she came back.  She was in the hospital for months, I was pregnant, but I can remember sitting and watching her and willing her to get well.   She did.

She is moving on, going to Florida to be with her son, grandson and the rest of her family.  I will miss her…so much.  And, I think I will need to get over my fear of flying.    See ya later my little Greek girlfriend!  My Little Cheryl!

Efxarysto.  Sagapo.  Reenie

Here is a list of the most common and popular momisms. This motherly advice transcends the borders of time, space, language and culture. For kids are kids everywhere and Moms are always Moms…caring, concerned, all knowing and full of love.

• Don’t make that face or it’ll freeze in that position.
• If I talked to my mother like you talk to me….
• Always wear clean underwear; you never know when you’ll have an accident.
• Be careful or you’ll put your eye out.
• What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
• You have enough dirt behind those ears to grow potatoes!
• Close that door! Were you born in a barn?
• If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
• Don’t put that in your mouth; you don’t know where it’s been!
• Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.
• Don’t eat those, they will stunt your growth.
• If you don’t eat those, you will stunt your growth.
• What’s meant to be, is meant to be. 
• It doesn’t matter what you accomplish, I’ll always be proud of you.
• I hope that when you grow up, you have kids “Just Like you”! 
• Because I’m your mother that’s why.
• This is why we can’t have nice things.
• If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
• Eat your vegetables, those children in China (Africa, Vietnam) would be happy to have some broccoli to eat!
• If you fall out of that tree and break your leg , don’t come running to me.
• Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. 
• YES, I *AM* the boss of you.
• Because I said so. 
• Just wait till your father gets home. 
• No dessert till you clean off your plate.
• I brought you into this world and I can take you OUT !!
• I’ve got eyes in the back of my head, that’s how
• Get that thing out of your mouth! (or nose)
• Just you wait until you have kids of your own – then you’ll understand
• I slave for hours over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get?!
• Honestly… You’d lose your head if it wasn’t screwed on!
• Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.

I found these “Momisms” on this website   http://www.mothersdaycelebration.com/      Thanks!

Miss You Mom!

In spring the long leaves come up with the tulips, iris and daffodils.  Every year I have to remind The Joe-Man not to cut them down when the other flowers go brown.  It is a long wait, but in August one day they appear…beautiful and fragrant as ever.  The bulbs that were transplanted to my yard have tripled and quadrupled and it looks like I would need to split them again in the fall. 

I can’t call my Mom and tell her that the leaves have come up, and I won’t be able to tell her when the “Naked Ladies” appear overnight. 

Last year I took an armful of them and placed them on her grave…I know she loved them.  I can’t wait until they show up this year.  I will again share them with her.