Are you still sick??

 Lately I’m  having a hard time going out of the house alone.  I can get  disoriented and a little confused in the store if I am by myself.  I freak out if I see someone I know…I have become very good at ditching well-meaning people with too many questions. 

  • How are you feeling?  When they really mean “Are you still sick?”
  • You look so good!  When they really mean “OMG, you look like crap”
  • Have you gone back to work yet? When they really mean “Must be nice to stay home and take it easy””
  • But you don’t look sick! When they really mean “She must be faking it, no one can be sick that long”
  • You just have to stop taking all those meds and you will feel better.
  • What kind of doctor are you going to anyway?
  • Or the well-meaning friend who tells you about a Lady who: stopped eating meat, or only eats a raw diet, or fasts once a week, or smokes pot twice a day (Honestly, someone suggested that)……and she is not sick anymore. Maybe you should  try it.

All these comments come from people who mean well and really care about me.  And not to sound like a callous Bitch, but I have felt like I need to prove to people that I really am chronically ill.  I feel sick everyday, and I have for 9 years and it is not going to go away. There are days that I never get out of bed.  There are days that I am so fatigued I won’t take a shower unless someone is home in case I fall or get dizzy.  If I plan to go to a social event like a wedding  it is quite possible that I will cancel at the last-minute because I don’t have the strength.

My Husband, my Sons, my Mother, my Sister, my Brothers and some wonderful Friends really “get it”.  Some people just will never “get it”, and that’s Okay I guess.  I will continue to ditch people in the grocery store or Home Depot,

  I’ve become very good at it.

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8 responses

  1. Yea, those people that think being sick and at home instead of at work is a great thing…I tell them to be careful what they wish for. Thanks for stopping by, I’m not a great writer and my life is pretty boring, but I’m glad to have another “friend reader”
    xoxomo

  2. wow, SO true! thanks for writing this (and adding a funny twist… it is so ridiculous some times what people come up with!).

    I literally had someone tell me that being off work and stuck at home all day sounded like a “vacation” to him. No, not at all when you’re in so much pain the whole time and have no choice about it!

    People suggesting treatments has become my pet peeve these days. Now I just tell people I’ll add it to my very very long list of “things to try just in case they might make my pain a bit more bearable even though it’s NOT going to ever go away and would you accept that already because it’s already hard enough for me to accept?”

    I’ll be back to read again; found your blog through the Chronc Babes carnival.

    ~krismom

  3. You said it, girl. One of my favorites is when “You look great!” also means “…so you’re probably faking it.” Once, after telling a nurse all my symptoms, she looked up at me all alarmed and exclaimed, “But you’re so pretty!!?!?”

    Umm… thanks? Not really sure how to take this.

    I definitely have more of a privacy wall now that I’m sick. I give myself express permission to cut off conversations with my parents’ well-meaning but oblivious friends and unsympathetic acquaintances from high school and college. It’s sometimes hard though to make sure I don’t avoid opportunities– like meeting up with old friends when I’m feeling up to it physically– because I’m afraid of answering the “sick person” questions.

    Maybe I’ll just take your photo girl’s cue and write my answers on my arms. 🙂

  4. I go with the old age trick of ‘smile and nod’ and also whenever someone asks me how I am I do a quick, “Fine and how are YOU?”, if it’s someone I haven’t seen in while/don’t want to bore them with my life…

    Liked your post!

  5. Yea, I know exactly what you mean… ‘member the people who wanted Scott to go to Mexico or something and live in Apricot pits or something like that!? Those people are every where…. Marty is in the same boat, he looks fine, but lives on the couch all winter. He’s at the doc right now… we’ll see how much of a waste of money this visit will be!

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