Love Me The Way I Am

“Someone asked me what are my “Favorite/most useful coping skills – for pain, depression, and all the silly side effects that come with having chronic illness?””


Hmmmm?  Do I have any coping skills, or do I just roll with the flow?  My first thought is that I am only able to cope with my illnesses with the help from my medications.  Other than that, I don’t handle this “chronic illness stuff” well at all. But, I have made it  through many a bad day by remembering some basic things:

  • Accept what you have and don’t argue with God anymore…I don’t mean to give up…just accept it

  • Accept help from the people who love you…it was hard for me to become the main attraction of my family. 

  • Accept that your family is as frightened as you are about this new thing called “chronic illness”

  • Help your family understand what you need…I don’t mean a glass of cold pop or a sandwich…You need to tell them you need rest, understanding , companionship, and sometimes you need to be alone just to be mad at this rude intrusion of illness

  • Help yourself by keeping a journal or blog to express your feelings that you don’t want to share with anyone

I had to accept that I couldn’t drive.

 I had to accept that I had to leave my job.

  I had to accept that my social life was extinct.

  I had to accept that many people just would never understand my illnesses. 

 I had to accept that my family would not become malnourished because I couldn’t cook every night. 

 I had to accept that my house would never be clean again.

So, I adapted and tried to do what I could to make my life a little more comfortable without feeling guilty. 

My bedroom is beautiful and an oasis for me.  Fleece sheets when it’s cold, crisp cotton sheets when it’s not.  Ridiculously expensive down pillows that are worth every penny I spent on them. 

 At times, when I feel bad days a’coming,  I will keep healthy snacks and drinks in my room so I won’t have to go downstairs.

I let my dog and cat sleep with me when I am feeling especially sorry for myself.


I am not embarrassed to ride in those cute little scooters they have at some stores.                                                  

 I am not embarrassed to sit on whatever I can find if I get tired when I am out…and that includes the floor.  

 I am not embarrassed to go out without makeup…something I would never have done before I got sick.  I will stay in my jammies all day if I need to. 


Sometimes I won’t take a shower until someone comes home because I am afraid I will fall.

 I finally admitted I needed a handicapped tag for my car. 


 I let myself cry if I want to.


And I listen to this song………..



4 responses

  1. I love Ingrid Michaelson….if I ever get my ipod to stop collecting dust…I should load some on there. These are many of the ways I “cope” and I find it interesting that you admit you don’t cope very well…I tend to feel I don’t either. Acceptance is really key and I think I’m still fighting things that I’m not willing to accept just yet. Yet with this battle I feel so alone and isolated. Your right, my house will never be clean, most people won’t understand chronic illness….and my bed… the only place I feel safe from everything. My 4 pillows help with that 🙂

    I had to giggle at your healthy snacks 😉

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