You know that saying, “I might have_______ (fill the blank with your illness), but IT doesn’t have me!”??? I have to admit that Addison’s has got me…bad..it has held me captive the last week or so.
While my Mom is in the hospital, and my family desperately needing me there, (Or is it that I desperately need to be there?) my lack of adrenal hormones has made me totally worthless. I am down and out…I cannot do anything. My fatigue is overwhelming, my body aches, and I am so foggy brained that I am afraid to drive. The first few days I was able to handle it…but then my body gave up. This Addison’s Disease is so fucking difficult to understand. My brain is completely in sync with what is going on, but my body is on strike. My stomach issues have roared back uninvited. If I eat, I get nauseous. If I don’t eat I get nauseous. My face is breaking out like I am a teenager. I can’t sleep…..I can’t wake up.
Meanwhile everything is still going on without me there, and I can’t help. Thank God for family is all I can say. My Mom is still in horrific pain. She is developing bed sores, even though the nurses and my sister turn her constantly. She can’t eat. She was cooperating with the physical therapists, and yesterday she told them “NO” when they came in.
Last night the Joe-Man took me to see her and she called him to her bedside so she could talk to him. She told him she didn’t know how long she could continue like this, and to not be surprised if she gives up. He told her she couldn’t give up yet and then he left her bedside crying.
She is getting so tired. We all see it in her eyes.