I Need Some Time Off

Yes, I need some time off.  Not from my job…I don’t have one.
I need some time off from nausea, fatigue, stomach pain, dizziness, general digestive upset, confusion, short-term memory problems, and just general blah-ness. 
No medicine will kill this beast that has taken over my life. I must give in to this devastating fatigue, there is no way to fight it.  I watch the world fly past me from either my bed or my couch.  Some days I believe that I will  become such a prisoner of this illness that I will never leave this house.  Often, I wake up and can’t remember what day it is, or if I am home alone or if there someone else in the house.
I have developed a few things that get me through the really awful days.  I leave the TV on all day, usually muted. If I wake up confused I can look at the TV and judge the time of day.  And, if the dog is in my bed I know I am home alone, if someone else is here…that is a potential  playtime opportunity for her (see ya later mom).   I have pillows and blankets in almost every room.  If I lay down in the living room, or family room, I have what I need right there.  I always have a granola bar or banana and something to drink within reach….and the phone. 
The worst days are when the Joe-Man goes to work…and I am in bed.  And then,  he comes home from work…and I am in bed.  Those are the days he is on his own…
I had someone who would listen to all my moans and groans and tales of woe.  Somehow, it made such a difference to talk about it all.  I don’t want to pull anyone else into my daily misery anymore. 
So, I blog.
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5 responses

  1. Have you taken a look at the “How To Be Sick” book yet? I know I keep harping on it but there was such a relief in reading it. It can’t do a damned thing about the physical pain you’re in (or the fatigue) but somehow it just helps. I feel for you Mo…

  2. Mo, I have so many days like this and I am getting so attached to being in my safe place ( home) and just do not like to leave it!

    Hang in there…there are others who understand and are ready to listen…so blog away!

  3. Please feel free to “chat” with me here, or elsewhere in the cyberverse if you like (via email, facebook chat, etc.) if you need to talk, vent, cry, complain, moan and groan. I don’t mind listening at all! There are lots of folks out here in the cyberverse who would do the same, I’m sure.
    Hang in there sounds trivial and trite, but I mean it coming from someone who is dealing with chronic illness/chronic pain, too. And, lots of cotton ball (((((hugs))))),

  4. Hey Mo – Sorry you are feeling so … down?

    I noticed the other day (not the first time I have noticed it) that I have days I wake up where my heart starts beating like I’m having an anxiety attack because I realize I woke up and am having to face another day.

    I hate those days.

    I hope tomorrow is a little better. You know where I live if you need me!

    ((((hugs))))

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