Yes, I need some time off. Not from my job…I don’t have one.
I need some time off from nausea, fatigue, stomach pain, dizziness, general digestive upset, confusion, short-term memory problems, and just general blah-ness.
No medicine will kill this beast that has taken over my life. I must give in to this devastating fatigue, there is no way to fight it. I watch the world fly past me from either my bed or my couch. Some days I believe that I will become such a prisoner of this illness that I will never leave this house. Often, I wake up and can’t remember what day it is, or if I am home alone or if there someone else in the house.
I have developed a few things that get me through the really awful days. I leave the TV on all day, usually muted. If I wake up confused I can look at the TV and judge the time of day. And, if the dog is in my bed I know I am home alone, if someone else is here…that is a potential playtime opportunity for her (see ya later mom). I have pillows and blankets in almost every room. If I lay down in the living room, or family room, I have what I need right there. I always have a granola bar or banana and something to drink within reach….and the phone.
The worst days are when the Joe-Man goes to work…and I am in bed. And then, he comes home from work…and I am in bed. Those are the days he is on his own…
I had someone who would listen to all my moans and groans and tales of woe. Somehow, it made such a difference to talk about it all. I don’t want to pull anyone else into my daily misery anymore.
So, I blog.