A Repost

I have felt crappy the last few days…so I have missed a day or two of posting.  I think NaBloPoMo is going to fire me.  Anyway here is a post from almost a year ago.  It’s a bitchy post, so I might ruin your happy mood. Sorry.

 Lately I’m  having a hard time going out of the house alone.  I can get  disoriented and a little confused in the store if I am by myself.  I freak out if I see someone I know…I have become very good at ditching well-meaning people with too many questions. 

  • How are you feeling?  When they really mean “Are you still sick?”
  • You look so good!  When they really mean ”OMG, you look like crap”
  • Have you gone back to work yet? When they really mean “Must be nice to stay home and take it easy””
  • But you don’t look sick! When they really mean “She must be faking it, no one can be sick that long”
  • You just have to stop taking all those meds and you will feel better.
  • What kind of doctor are you going to anyway?
  • Or the well-meaning friend who tells you about a Lady who: stopped eating meat, or only eats a raw diet, or fasts once a week, or smokes pot twice a day (Honestly, someone suggested that)……and she is not sick anymore. Maybe you should  try it.

All these comments come from people who mean well and really care about me.  And not to sound like a callous Bitch, but I have felt like I need to prove to everybody that I am really am chronically ill.  I feel sick everyday, and I have for 9 years and it is not going to go away. There are days that I never get out of bed.  There are days that I am so fatigued I won’t take a shower unless someone is home in case I fall or get dizzy.  If I plan to go to a social event like a wedding  it is quite possible that I will cancel at the last-minute because I don’t have the strength.My Husband, my Sons, my Mother, my Sister, my Brothers and some wonderful Friends really “get it”.  Some people just will never “get it”, and that’s Okay I guess.  I will continue to ditch people in the grocery store or Home Depot,  I’ve become very good at it. 

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7 responses

  1. I can relate to sooo much of this. I wish you weren’t going through this, but at the same time it is comforting to read this and know that I’m not the only one (if that makes sense).

  2. You’re not a b(&£!, you’re just being real. Chronic illness is tough, and some people will just never get it. We are lucky if we have a couple of people in our lives who do. Take care of yourself and don’t worry about sounding mean. It’s frustrating and the reality of the situation. Let it give you permission to be extra kind to yourself.

  3. I don’t think you are a b*&%^… going out can be so overwhelming. There are days where I just want to get there, get what I need and get out. Stopping to chat and answer someone’s questions doesn’t help me get through my errand!

  4. I’m sorry, Mo, that you are feeling so lousy today. I know I can relate with your post today. I actually didn’t think you came across bitchy at all. Just someone who is having a really bad day.

    I hope you improve soon.

    Sending you hugs and love my friend!

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